Turning 30

In less than a week I turn 30, and have been doing a lot of thinking about what I have done with my life and where I am going.  There are a lot of things that I thought would happen before I turned 30.  Things like getting married, starting a family, being in a career that uses my college degree, and maybe owning a home.  In physical and societal terms such as those, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished that much.  But there are things that I have accomplished, such as moving away from the state I grew up in, learning to take care of myself and make decisions on my own.  Having my own convictions and values, and really learning who I am and what makes me tick.

On many occasions, I would plan out certain things in my life, and God would laugh and then promptly change them.  Looking back, I see how God changed things that were for the better.  Not getting into medical school, living in Wyoming longer so I could learn to grow deeper in relationships.  Moving me out to Seattle and getting plugged into a church and community group that has been incredibly supportive.

I’ve learned a lot being single and having the time to develop deep relationships.  Some days have been rough, with pain, confusion, and sadness.  Even with having a strong desire to be married, I know that I need to be healthier with myself and those around me.  Balancing and understanding my needs, yet not being so inwardly focused and having the ability to pour out the love and grace of God on those around me.

Then there are the innumerable mistakes I have made, trying to figure life out.  Poor relationship choices, not listening to God, not heeding the advice of wise friends and family.  Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes, even though some days I feel like I’ve failed miserably.  I ran across this quote the other day from one of my favorite bloggers, Jon Acuff, and it reminded me how my mistakes can be used to minister to other people:

“In God’s hands, your mistakes aren’t open cuts, they are healed scars that tell stories of hope other people need to hear.”

I’m still trying to figure out where I am going, but I know that God will be with me every step of the way.  I’m excited to move forward, but scared shitless of not knowing what will happen next.  Praying for grace and guidance as I proceed with this crazy adventure called life.

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9. Love Language

Some of you may be familiar with the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  I honestly have not read it, but I do like the premise behind it.  Knowing how best you relate to one another and how best to show love.  And understanding how you receive love from others.

The love languages listed in the book are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

For the longest time, I knew that one of my main love languages’ is Quality Time.  I love it when someone takes the time to hang out with me, give me a call, and engages with me frequently.  This can be a challenge in a society that tries to schedule people in hour-long slots.  Where you’re running from one activity to another.  I truly delight in spending quality time with those I love.

My other main love language is Physical Touch.  Hugs, affection, someone rubbing my back or arm, all reinforces the feeling of love.  As a single woman, this one of the hardest ones to have.  It is a struggle to be able to express this appropriately and safely some days.  Where others don’t like touch, or that (in my case), your single and you just want to snuggle with someone after a bad day at work.  Touch from someone who cares about me deeply has always affirmed that everything will be ok, and that I am not alone.

I’m still trying to figure out the balance of my love languages and be completely ok with how God has made me.  To be able to express my needs better to others, but also to be honoring and respectful of other’s love languages‘.