Imago Dei

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to help organize and attend a retreat for our post-college/pre-family ministry at my church.  It was truly a retreat.  Most of the time, people say “retreat” and there is so much stuff jam-packed into the weekend, that you have to come home to relax.  I’m definitely at the age where I benefit from digging into things on my own.  Being inundated with all sorts of good information isn’t beneficial when I don’t take time to process it.

The theme of the weekend was “Imago Dei” which translates into “Image of God”.  How am I a reflection of God?  Do I see myself as God sees me?  How does God see me?  I dug deep and hard in my mind and heart.  Shed many tears, and cried out to God.  Reflecting on a lot of things.

I have a tendency of worrying about what everyone else thinks of me, but not what God thinks.  A couple of days before the retreat, I had coffee with a good friend of mine, and in our conversation, they brought up the point we were both people pleasers.  I’ve never wanted to admit that I am.  But, when I had a chance to process, I had to truly admit it and own it.  I worry that I won’t be accepted, that I’m not doing good job.  That I try and reflect the image of those who are around me, and not the image of God.  Growing up, I always felt like an outsider in social circles; awkward, lonely, and not having many close friends.  This shaped and affected me deeply.  And when I would actually develop good friends, I would want to please them.  Putting up a front and seeking their approval, because I was afraid that I would lose them.

Being aware and admitting this helps me to move forward.  I know it will take time, and as I’m still processing, I pray that God will transform me.  Learning why I do the things I do, and learning to reflect God completely.  To not worry about what others think, but that the only one who matters is God.