Turning 30

In less than a week I turn 30, and have been doing a lot of thinking about what I have done with my life and where I am going.  There are a lot of things that I thought would happen before I turned 30.  Things like getting married, starting a family, being in a career that uses my college degree, and maybe owning a home.  In physical and societal terms such as those, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished that much.  But there are things that I have accomplished, such as moving away from the state I grew up in, learning to take care of myself and make decisions on my own.  Having my own convictions and values, and really learning who I am and what makes me tick.

On many occasions, I would plan out certain things in my life, and God would laugh and then promptly change them.  Looking back, I see how God changed things that were for the better.  Not getting into medical school, living in Wyoming longer so I could learn to grow deeper in relationships.  Moving me out to Seattle and getting plugged into a church and community group that has been incredibly supportive.

I’ve learned a lot being single and having the time to develop deep relationships.  Some days have been rough, with pain, confusion, and sadness.  Even with having a strong desire to be married, I know that I need to be healthier with myself and those around me.  Balancing and understanding my needs, yet not being so inwardly focused and having the ability to pour out the love and grace of God on those around me.

Then there are the innumerable mistakes I have made, trying to figure life out.  Poor relationship choices, not listening to God, not heeding the advice of wise friends and family.  Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes, even though some days I feel like I’ve failed miserably.  I ran across this quote the other day from one of my favorite bloggers, Jon Acuff, and it reminded me how my mistakes can be used to minister to other people:

“In God’s hands, your mistakes aren’t open cuts, they are healed scars that tell stories of hope other people need to hear.”

I’m still trying to figure out where I am going, but I know that God will be with me every step of the way.  I’m excited to move forward, but scared shitless of not knowing what will happen next.  Praying for grace and guidance as I proceed with this crazy adventure called life.

Advertisements

Author: graceintherain

I'm follower of Christ learning about life, love, and grace in the rainy Northwest. I love coffee, good conversation, baking, and hanging out with my cat.

1 thought on “Turning 30”

  1. Happy Birthday! I love your positive attitude on this occasion when it seems that most people get depressed regarding what they have not achieved on the material world’s scale of success. I know I’m younger than you by 1.5 years, but you know I haven’t achieved any of those things either (except using my degree, but that’s balanced out by the fact that I’m now living with my parents).

    It’s so true about God twisting our own plans into something so much better. Based on the fact that I make major plans at LEAST every 3 months, I can’t count how many times that has happened. I want to say the same about the mistakes we’ve made, but that quote is abstract for me; I need to process it more. I can see that it means other people learn from our mistakes. The tough part for me is that our mistakes are “healed scars” in God’s hands… Sometimes they still feel quite raw and open to me, so it’s hard for me to consider them healed yet by God. I guess I need to separate my bodily reactions to thoughts of hard times and wrong moves from the holy spirit that has let me move on with my life regardless of those emotions.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts/feelings with us readers and giving us so much food for thought. Keep it up!

    Linda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s