Saying “No”

One of the hardest things I have ever had to learn to say is the word “no”.  I hate turning people down, but learning to set a strong boundary for myself is important.  Growing up, I didn’t learn to say “no” very well.  I remember my parents saying “yes” to all of these activities, but rarely saying “no” to spending time for themselves.

This really ties into my being a people pleaser.  I want to say “yes” to everyone, because I’m afraid of what they will think if I say “no“.  I want to portray that I’m accessible all of the time, and always available to help.  To show that I have a “servants’ heart” for others.  Because when I do, I look good to others.  My actions are good, but the intentions are all wrong.

I’ve had to learn to not feel guilty when I say “no”.  It has sucked at times, but the more I do it, the easier it gets.  Periodically, I fall back into saying “yes” too much, so I have to be careful and be self-aware of my boundaries.

When I know my boundaries, and how to say “no”, I can say “yes” to things I truly love.  To be able to get deep in a few things instead of shallow with many.  I won’t be spread as thin.  I would have time to breath.  And I can enjoy the spontaneous things in life that come up when you have time and energy.  Life is much better with balance.


Author: graceintherain

I'm follower of Christ learning about life, love, and grace in the rainy Northwest. I love coffee, good conversation, baking, and hanging out with my cat.

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