One of the hardest things I have ever had to learn to say is the word “no”. I hate turning people down, but learning to set a strong boundary for myself is important. Growing up, I didn’t learn to say “no” very well. I remember my parents saying “yes” to all of these activities, but rarely saying “no” to spending time for themselves.
This really ties into my being a people pleaser. I want to say “yes” to everyone, because I’m afraid of what they will think if I say “no“. I want to portray that I’m accessible all of the time, and always available to help. To show that I have a “servants’ heart” for others. Because when I do, I look good to others. My actions are good, but the intentions are all wrong.
I’ve had to learn to not feel guilty when I say “no”. It has sucked at times, but the more I do it, the easier it gets. Periodically, I fall back into saying “yes” too much, so I have to be careful and be self-aware of my boundaries.
When I know my boundaries, and how to say “no”, I can say “yes” to things I truly love. To be able to get deep in a few things instead of shallow with many. I won’t be spread as thin. I would have time to breath. And I can enjoy the spontaneous things in life that come up when you have time and energy. Life is much better with balance.